Fun & Free (Or at Least Relatively Painless): Episode Four

This week's episode of Fun & Free covers Azeroth's best holiday, Brewfest! Whether you're looking for a new vanity pet, a hat with a feather on it, free booze, or just a chance to ride the fastest rams in the world, there's something for everyone at Brewfest.

On the Horde Side:
The Main Event: Orgrimmar
While every capital city has its own beer garden (and each of these gardens plays a different authentic goblin polka song), Orgrimmar is where the best brewers have come to ply their wares and show off their trade skills. The Brewfest main event is set up just off the road heading to Razor Hill.

And On the Alliance Side:
The Other Main Event: Ironforge
In snowy Dun Morogh, home of the dwarven ram, dwarven brewing is at its finest, and both the Thunderbrew and Barleybrew breweries have come to join the festivities. The main Brewfest activities are set up just below the cliffs of Ironforge, along the road leading to Kharanos. You can hear other authentic dwarven drinking tunes by visiting each capital city of the Alliance.

For Anyone:
The Best Vanity Pet Ever!
A mere 50 silver (less with faction discount) will buy you a Wolpertinger, the most unusual and easily the most fun pet around. Get yours before the holiday is gone! Or, if you just want to relax and enjoy the sights of wild wolpertingers at play in their native environment, knock back a few drinks and wander around the Brewfest grounds. Chances are you'll see plenty of these lovely little guys frolicking to and fro.


Ram Racing
A time-honored Brewfest tradition, ram racing is available to all players this year, no matter their level. Before you begin, take a look at wowwiki's informative guide on Brewfest and ram racing strategy - a must-read if you want to maximize profits during your races.
Players must complete at least the basic ram racing quest ("Now This is Ram Racing...Almost") before becoming eligible to pick up this year's Brewfest souvenir, the handy, refillable Blue Brewfest Stein.

Barking for the Breweries
Akin to Ram Racing, but with a twist...these quests will give you a rental racing ram and send you into either Orgrimmar or Ironforge to advertise for the brewery of your choice. The catch: there are no apple barrels inside the city limits. Therefore, you'll have to budget your time wisely to ensure that you can "bark" at all four quest locations without tiring your ram out. Here are a couple tips:
Don't Gallop - keep your ram's pace between a trot and a canter, and keep an eye on that fatigue debuff. When you see it get too high, lower your speed.
Plan Your Route - the four quest locations are scattered throughout the city, so it helps to have some idea of how you'll get to all of them before you head out. Ironforge is a circular city, so you can start with barking at the Bank and go either way easily, as long as your ram doesn't tire. But Orgrimmar's Valley of Honor lies off the beaten path, and the Valley of Spirits isn't that easy to get to either - make sure you give yourself extra time to get there.
Lastly, remember that you can only bark for one of the two faction breweries per day. Choose wisely!

Free Booze
Each faction boasts two noble breweries, each of which is vying for your custom and favor. The Ogres have set up their wares at both faction festivals, though their beers are much more powerful, and low-level characters might find themselves unable to hold their drink! For your free drinks, either complete the first ram racing quest to get your Brewfest Stein, or take a sample from one of the many tables around the Brewfest main event area.

Dark Iron Dwarf Invasions
Every half hour, Dark Iron Dwarves will crash the party at the Brewfest main event, sending up legions of dwarves intent on destroying the kegs of free ale! Players can thwart these miscreants by quaffing the mugs of ale on the free sample tables and throwing them at the dwarves. Every time you throw, a Brewfest attendant will throw you another. Every so often, one of the dwarves will leave a large silver tankard on the ground. If you run over the tankard you will get the "Drunken Master" buff, which will turn you into a whirling dervish, capable of incapacitating multiple dwarves at the same time.

Brewfest Tokens
With each quest you complete, you'll receive Brewfest tokens, which can be redeemed for all sorts of fun prizes, including a complete Brewfest costume, your own pony keg of Brewfest Ale, or a voucher to join the Brew of the Month Club. Note that this year, Brewfest tokens only last 21 days, so make sure you've spent them before the festival is over!

Edit as of 9/29: Brew of the Month Club
Who wouldn't want to be able to celebrate Brewfest all year long? With a 12-month membership to the Brew of the Month Club, you can do just that! Membership costs 200 Brewfest Tokens. Once a member, you have access to a limited-edition brew which will be mailed to you each month. Like what you're drinking? You can purchase more from licensed Brew of the Month Club vendors in Orgrimmar and Ironforge. And oh - one more thing, each brew may give you an unusual little buff, like the ones shown below.

Drinking some brews can cause squirrels to fall madly in love with you!

Brewfest runs from September 20th through October 4th. Have fun!

Fun & Free (Or at Least Relatively Painless): Episode Three

This "episode" of Fun & Free focuses entirely on the "best of the best" quests for Alliance toons at low levels. Enjoy!

Level 8: The Prophecy of Akida
Though this quest takes place on Azuremyst Isle, deep in Draenei country, it is available to anyone on the Alliance side who wants a chance to “be a druid without BEING a druid.” The quest comes with flying, water breathing, and ultimately turning into a lightning-fast forest cat with invisibility - how could you not like it?

Step One: Speak to Cryptographer Aurren in Azure Watch, and read the language primer he gives you.
Steps Two thru Four: The language primer you read will now allow you to access a series of totems which are scattered throughout Azuremyst. The first three are quite easy to get to - simply follow the directions each furbolg ancestor gives you to head to the totems of COO, TIKTI, and YOR respectively. Hint: if you get lost, YOR is at the bottom of the southern-most part of the river hidden among some water plants.
Step Five: After activating the YOR totem, another Stillpine ancestor will escort you out of the water and change you into an invisible panther. If you attack anyone or loot anything in this form you will lose the speed buff and your invisibility, and then you'll have to fight your way to the next totem, which is on the western part of the island. Once you've chased your panther escort to the totem of VARK, prepare yourself for battle!
Step Six: Lay waste to the Bristlelimb furbolgs, collect 8 keys, and set free 8 Stillpine Prisoners.
Step Seven: Return to Azure Watch a little wiser, having learned much about the ways of the forest. If you're not a druid, this is one of the only chances in the whole game you'll ever get to shapeshift, so hopefully you took a screen shot or two to remember the quest by. Have fun!

Level 10: Operation Recombobulation
This is a quick-and-easy quest with some amusing eye candy at the end, and an enjoyable look at some of the unpredictability and peculiarity of gnomish engineering.
Step One: Head to Kharanos, and speak with Razzle Sprysprocket.
Step Two: Travel west until you are on the doorstep on Gnomeregan. Kill every leper gnome you find until you've gathered 8 Restabilization Cogs and 8 Gyrometric Gears.
Step Three: Bring them back to Razzle, and make sure you pull your screen view back enough so you can watch the unusual contraption he's got inside his house. Focus on the caged leper gnome, and watch it turn into a chicken. Voila! You're done.
N.B. There are some reports of this quest being bugged. Hopefully you'll still get to watch that leper gnome chicken wander around! Good luck!

Levels 20-28: Morbent Fel
If you like being an undead slayer, as well as getting one of the most graphically pretty off-hand items in the game, this quest is for you. It's got zombies, Defias Rogues, mist-shrouded manors, and evil sorcerers galore. It's a quest that's even more for you if you're a class that will benefit from an off-hand item which gives +5 to spirit and +5 to spell damage and healing, one of the best of its kind this early in the game. But be warned: this quest is a bit on the long side, though all of it can be completed solo.

Step One: Go to the north-west corner of Duskwood and speak with Sven Jorgen. He'll be walking you through this quest, so you'll get to know him pretty well.
Step Two: Sven will send you to the Jorgen Farmstead in Southern Duskwood. There you'll dig around in a pile of loose dirt behind an old tree stump for whatever it was that a shady figure recently hid there. Soon after that figure arrived at Sven's farm, Sven's wife and family were murdered, and Sven wants you to find out why. Hint: be careful if you approach via the plowed field - stealthed Defias rogues patrol the area, and for a level 20 character, they hit very hard.
Step Three: Take the journal you find back to Sven. Then head to Darkshire to see if you can get any more clues about its author. Speak with Madame Eva, Clerk Daltry, and Tavernkeep Smitts. Piece together what they've told you to figure out where to go next to find the shadowy figure.

(SPOILER ALERT!) If you want to solve the mystery of who the shadowy figure is on your own, don't read the next step!

Step Four: The shadowy figure is Jitters, who is hiding in the town square at Raven Hill. He will give you the full version of his journal, which you then need to take to Sven. Sven will determine that the sorcerer on the hill, an evil man by the name of Morbent Fel, is responsible for the sudden appearance of four dark riders in Duskwood who killed Sven's family. These riders are intent upon retrieving the Staff of Elune. He will now send you on a series of quests to prepare you to become a champion worthy of killing Morbent Fel and of avenging Sven's family.
Step Five: Kill skeletons. Once you're done, Sven sends you to Stormwind to show Jitters' journal to Bishop farthing.
Step Six: The Bishop will tell you of a special ore called Lightforged Iron which is only obtainable in the Wetlands. So, to Menethil Harbor you go!
Step Seven: Once at Menethil, speak to Glorin Steelbrow at the inn, who will point you south (just a few yards south actually) to a ruined ship which once held the ore. The ship is guarded by Murlocs, but you'll be able to fight them one at a time. Once you have 5 ingots of ore, return to Glorin.
Step Eight: Glorin will send you to Grimand Elmore in Stormwind. Hint: he's right at the north-western corner of the Dwarven District. Grimand will forge the ore into a lovely weapon, and one of the prettiest off-hand items in the game.
Step Nine: Suitably armed, return to Sven, and get his go-ahead to kill Morbent Fel. The weapon you have in your possession will turn Morbent fell from a level 30 elite to a normal level 30, so if you're of comparable level, you won't need anyone to help you. And yes, you do get to keep the off-hand weapon after the quest is complete.

Fun & Free (Or at Least Relatively Painless): Episode Two

In today's "episode" of Fun & Free, I introduce a third feature of these posts - neutral quests and world events which aren't faction-specific.

For Anyone at All
Level 70 (Soon to be Level 80) Elite Tauren Chieftain Concerts!
Anyone, Horde or Alliance, who can find a way to get to Shattrath City in Outland can enjoy a free viewing of Azeroth's greatest rock band, Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain as they perform their hit single "Power of the Horde" at the World's End Tavern in Lower City. Performances start at the top of the hour, every three hours, 8 shows per day.


On the off-hours between L70ETC shows, a human comedian named Perry Gatner performs some stand-up comedy one-liners and voice impressions.

Can't make it to Shattrath? Visit Silvermoon and see the band in person. L70ETC members can be seen atop a balcony in the Walk of Elders. Wave to them, and they'll wave back!

Can't make a live show? Visit the World of Warcraft movies page for a downloadable version of the song "I am Murloc."

The Darkmoon Faire!
Known as the Greatest Show on Azeroth, the Darkmoon Faire is a traveling show that rotates its visits among Elwynn Forest, Mulgore, and Terokkar Forest. The Faire arrives on the first or second Monday of every month - this month it will be visiting Elywnn Forest, just south of Goldshire, from September 8th-14th. Not all aspects of the Darkmoon Faire are free, though most of them are very cheap.

Free Tickets: A couple days before the Faire begins, you'll be able to see carnies putting up tents on the fairground. Inside the capital cities of the host faction Faire Barkers will be handing out vouchers for 5 free tickets to redeem at the Faire. Once the Faire begins, find Gelvas Grimegate and hand him your voucher. Gelvas also has a number of items which can be obtained for free, provided you have the appropriate number of tickets.

Cheap Drinks: You can sample some inexpensive but very potent malted beverages from the food & drink stand.

Free Fortunetelling: Have your fortune told by Sayge the gnoll. Each fortune is different, and some trigger treasure-hunting quests in nearby dungeons. Also, each time you speak to Sayge and get a fortune, he'll give you a different buff, which lasts for 2 hours or until your character dies.

The Cannon: In the capital city of each region the Faire visits a cannon is set up, which will catapult players high into the air. If you're careful, you can aim for a bullseye set somewhere on the ground. Right click on your "wings" buff to finish your descent, and hopefully you'll land safely!

Rare Item Trading: For those who have a bit of spare change, trader Lhara and Professor Thaddeus Paleo offer some wonderful items for sale. Lhara trades in rare herbs and leather, while the Professor sells scrolls, potions, motes of the various Outland primals, and the occasional uncut blue gem. The prices on all these items are far cheaper than can be found in any Auction House, so this is a great place to park an alt with some gold and check back on throughout the week.

Fun & Free (Or at Least Relatively Painless): Episode One

Welcome to the first "episode" of Fun & Free (Or at Least Relatively Painless), where we take a look at things around the worlds of Azeroth and Outlands which are amusing, entertaining and interesting, but which do not cost lots of gold or time to discover. Most of them, at least. Features may include memorable quests, cool items, nifty gadgets, or just neat lore background. So, to start, I offer you...

On the Horde Side:

The Lady's Necklace
Chances are if you've ever spent five minutes wandering through Undercity, you've heard Sylvanas the Banshee Queen singing a beautiful, ethereal song in her native tongue of Thalassian. If you've ever wondered what her song is about, this quest is for you.

Step One: Get your character to level 15, and journey to the Ghostlands south of Silvermoon City.
Step Two: Head on over to Windrunner Spire, on the Western coast. Kill the banshees and cultists there until one of them drops The Lady's Necklace.
Step Three: Accept the quest to return the necklace to High Executor Mavren in Tranquillien. When he sees the necklace, he'll send you on to Sylvanas in Undercity.
Step Four: Head to the Royal Quarter in the south-west sector of town and offer the necklace to Sylvanas. She won't be all that nice to you for dredging up old memories, but stick around. This is when she starts singing.
Step Five: Speak to Ambassador Sunsorrow, next to Sylvanas. He'll offer you a nicely-bound book, which holds a translation of that lovely song.


Optional: If you'd like to see a recap of Sylvanas' song, complete with a little of the story of how Sylvanas herself came to be a banshee, check out the video Lament of the Highborne on Blizzard's own movie downloads page.

And on the Alliance Side:

CLUCK!

Here's how to get the world's cheapest non-combat pet from a fun little easter egg quest in Westfall. To do this quest you must be willing to shell out all of 22 copper pieces, and walk around looking very foolish for a few minutes.

Step One: Create a macro which does the following: /chicken

Put that macro in your task bar. You'll be spamming it in just a minute.

Step Two: Journey to Westfall and go to Saldean's Farm. I recommend being level 10 or so to do this, so as to avoid drawing aggro from the wandering coyotes and farm machinery.

Step Three: Purchase one Special Chicken Feed from Saldean. This costs 22 coppers, so be sure to break your piggybank before heading over here.

Step Four: Select any nearby chicken and start spamming your /chicken macro. Pay close attention. You'll notice that every chicken normally has its name printed in yellow text, signifying that it is a neutral creature. Once you spam the /chicken macro enough, your chicken's name will briefly turn green. Immediately right click on the chicken.

Step Five: A quest screen will pop up. Accept the quest quickly, or you'll have to do all that clucking and flapping all over again.

Step Six: /cheer at the chicken. Then right click on it again and complete the quest.

Step Seven: Wait for a minute while the chicken lays an egg. Then right click to pick up your chicken egg, and become the proud owner of your very own Prairie Chicken!